So happy :) :) :)

This has already been one of the best few weeks ever :)


Everything is perfect.



Birthday next Friday.
Thanksgiving break will be incredible.



So happy :)

Ohhhhh.... I'm stoked :)

Happy.

Hope this goes well.

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone

good day. =)

 Some of the people I care about the most,
care about me the least.

 I just need to vent a bit...

I'm fucking sick of everyone treating me like shit. What the hell did I do to deserve it? Honestly. I'd fucking like to know. I'm tired of trying to be the perfectionist all the time, and doing everything right. I'm tired of people saying "you can do better" or anything like that. I don't fucking care. Fuck off. Who the fuck are you to tell me how to live my life. I hate getting stepped on and disappointed and let down by everyone. I take it personally when plans don't happen or when something goes wrong. And I'm tired of being the one to always say sorry first. I don't know why I do it, but I do. I'm not really a confrontational person, that's probably why. In therapy I was asked what I like and dislike about myself. I didn't even know what to say. I don't know what's good about me. I really don't. I don't like people getting mad at me, but yet I'm mad at everyone. I'm sick of being treated like shit and I don't know what to do anymore. I try being nice to everyone and do favors for people and try to cheer people up, but I still get treated like shit. I hate it. I'm fucking sick of everything.


fuck.

 I cannot tell you how much I really need to talk to someone. 

Anyone.

 Another thing:

I want to own a vineyard in Napa, California. It will be picturesque and lovely and it will look like the vineyard in The Parent Trap. I'd have someone else take care of the vineyard, seeing as it takes year-round care. Since I'll mostly be living in New York City, I won't be around that much. I'd have to travel across the country continuoisly, back and fourth from my two residences.

 I'm coming up with things I want to do when I'm older. Many will be added in the future...

- Own a small town and it's buildings. It will be very small and quaint and nice. There will be a Main Street with basic buildings that every town needs. I will be like a mayor, but without all the political-ness of it all. I will own all of the buildings, including a bakery and a toy shop and a ski/snowboarding shop, because it will be snowy in the winter and in the perfect 70's/80's in the summer. I will design the town to my liking, and must approve all those that live there. There will be no crime either. It will be like Stars Hollow in Gilmore Girls, except better and smaller and the people won't talk as fast.

- Own a nice apartment in New York City, with many bookshelves, tall bookshelves. The bookshelves will be filled with an endless amount of books and reading material. It will be like a big Barnes and Noble in my own Manhattan apartment and if I need to know anything about anything, it will all be there. There is Wikipedia but the books look a lot better, plus if the apartment burned down, that would really suck.

- Go to Africa and save a village. I realize how far-fetched this sounds, but it's a start. I want to help everyone who cannot help themselves. It's sad that people spend millions of dollars on their mansions and spend money like it's nothing. I know it's people's money and they could do whatever they want with it, but still, there are people starving and hungry and homeless and they don't have an education or health care or anything like that. They have nothing. I want to help as many people as possible. I want to make a difference.

 Next few months:

Finals. 
Snowboarding trip. 
Movies. 
ITALY. 
Rhode Island. 
Last Day. 
Prom. 
Graduation. 
All-Night Party. 
Graduation Party. 
COLORADO. 
Summer. 
College. 
Turning 18. 

I'm probably forgetting a lot more things. But yeahhhhh.

=)

 Today made me realize some things.
I need to be more honest with people.
I need to stand up for what I want.
Things are gonna start changing...

Tonight was realllly fun:
Dan In Real Life with Drew and Molly.
Then went to The Grind with them until about 11:30 p.m.
Came home for about 10-15 minutes.
Went to DRC with Drew and Cory.
Home around 1:30-2 am.


It was a very good night =)

 talk to me.
go ice skating.
watch movies.
go to the grind.
give me a hug.
smile.
tell me a joke.
even if it's a bad one.
go shopping.
laugh.
hold hands for no reason.
show me new music.
drive around to nowhere.
listen.

Last night was very fun.
Ice Skating and 7-Eleven and The Office and Apples to Apples. 
It was something I really needed.
I'm actually happy for once.

Tomorrow's gonna be a Super Good Day. I'm so pumped! =)

So today was an outstandingly awesome day. I basically did nothing in my first four hours. In Newspaper I was very bored and came up with a game of MASH. Soon catching on to the lunch table, it was quite fun(ny). Fifth hour is AP English, and we took a not-difficult-but-challenging quiz about the book we're reading. There were too many characters and too many things that happened in the book, and I think I messed some of the questions up. Honors Physics, sixth hour: took notes, did a worksheet, did some more MASH with people, told jokes. Not really any homework, besides finishing the physics worksheet, and I have another AP English quiz tomorrow. Oh, and The Office is tonight, I'm pumped. =)


Six days until my birthday....

Today could be described as just 'ugh'. It started off pretty well. But for some reason, lunch always puts me in a bad mood. I just feel like shit, physically and emotionally. After that is AP English, where people get really bitchy and high-strung over minimal shit. Whenever I raise my hand to answer a question, or even just ask one, I am never called on. The same five people are always called on, and praised. I feel invisible in that class; like I can never do anything right. Last is Honors Physics. The premise of this class is basically just do stupid-proof labs and take tests. All the work is manageable, until the tests come around. The tests are easy while taking them, but the next day, when the grades are posted, I feel quite the opposite, and am proven the opposite. I fucking dislike that class, almost to go as far as to say "hate" that class. I just got my test back from a test I thought was really easy.....Well fuck me, I got a C. Oh, and not to mention I'm doing nothing the weekend before my birthday, besides work and do homework. Fuck my life. 




Natalie Portman is on TRL doing the Soulja Boy dance. However entertaining it is, it still doesn't help....